Help, I'm alive
by Adinamya
Summary: Sometimes I like to write about April/Alex non-existent friendship on the show and make it happen in the fanfiction world. Chapter 2: April came back from war and Alex is the one who makes her understand why Jackson is hurt.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of this characters. I'm not Shonda Rhimes.

**Warning**: This is a AK2 friendship one shot with a lot of unnecessary drama, well kind of. I'm in a mood in which I only write tragic and sad things.

I know right now us Japril shippers are being very spoiled by Shonda, but I expect a lot of drama in the future and this particular scenario keeps popping into my head since we don't know for sure who's staying and who's leaving.

English is not my mother language so please, If you see any misspelled word of mayor typos, let me know, that way you help me to improve.

* * *

**"Help, I'm alive"**

April was screaming and shooting insults to a couple of paramedics and increasingly attracting the attention of their coworkers. Nurses and patients were already whispering while looking at her.

Alex was watching the scene from the nurse station at the pit, wondering why he hated seeing her like that. She was clearly not his problem…but of course, he needed to do something.

"April" he finally called her while he approached to the scene, just in time to prevent April to throw her tablet at one of the paramedics

"What do you want Karev? " she asked full of rage "Can't you see I'm busy?"

"What is the problem?" he asked trying to be patient.

"These fools have brought the patient nearly dead! Dead!"

"Ok, April, calm down, let's focus on the patient"

Alex picked the Tablet from her hand and motioned with his head to the paramedics to leave. They retreated quickly, escaping the fury of April.

"Morons!" April screamed as loud as she could.

"Maybe you should take an other couple of days off, no one expected you to come back this soon," Alex suggested her almost in a whisper

She looked at him and then, April's gaze full of rage suddenly turned into a sad look. She looked down, trying to hold back her tears.

That was the moment when Alex should have escaped, his survival instinct told him to retire. It was the same guts that told him to left Izzie go, escape from Lexie when she became complicated, get angry with Meredith every time they had a fight, insult Cristina to defend himself and blame Jo of every thing that went wrong on their relationship.

Also, Alex didn't know how to calm April, that was Jackson's work, only her husband knew how buttons push or say to calm her down.

But Avery was not there anymore; Alex couldn't just page him and say to him to calm his wife.

April was already crying.

He remembered the feeling he suffered the day Izzie died in his arms for a minutes… and the idea of April facing that feel from now on, for the rest of her life, made him stay.

He took her in his arms and allowed April hid her face in his chest as her body started to tremble.

"I miss him…I miss him so much" April said between tears and violent sobs. "I miss him…Alex, I want him back"

"I know, Apes, I know" Alex said while he patted her head clumsily

"There is no God, It can't be a God if he leaves a new born baby without a father" she said

Alex didn't know what to say, because there was nothing to say. All he could do was hold her tight and help her not to tumble while the walls were crumbling down.


	2. Chapter 2

**IMPORTANT:** This is an AK2 friendship kind of fic, with tons of Japril and Izziex references and angst. If you don't like how it sounds, don't read.

Hi guys! You can totally skip this introduction but I wanted to share my logic behind this little drabble. So, this might be a little weird but here I go. Since I heard how S11 ended for Japril It reminded me a little about Izzie and Alex. I'm not saying it is the same exact situation but they share some similarities. So, all summer I've had this scene in my head but until today I was able to make it work.

Disclaimer: Same as always, all the characters belong to Misses Shonda Rhimes and the grammar and spell mistakes and I apologize because English is not my mother language. I haven't seen the whole 11x24 yet and I'm not aware of any spoilers about S12, so this is entirely my interpretation.

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It had been a long day for Alex Karev, he lost a patient and was exhausted, feeling down and angry. He decided to stop at Joe's for a drink while Jo ended up her shift and they could get back home. While waited for the bartender to give him the beer the ordered, he scanned the whole place.

It was when he noticed her. She was the last person he expected to see there, not to mention see in Seattle but there she was.

The bartender gave him the beer.

"She's a babe, right?" said the bartender when he noticed Alex was staring at her. "She just ordered a glass of water, though she looked really depressed."

Alex looked at the dude; he had never saw him before. Without a word Alex walked away from the bar and approached to her table. She staring at an empty glass like there was no tomorrow.

"So, you're back," he said to her as he sat in the chair in across of her.

April jumped a little when she heard his voice and immediately looked at him. She was tanned and her usually her curls were hided into a pony tail.

"Uh- Hi, Alex," she said but failed to smile at him.

"What the heck are you doing here?" he asked impolitely. "I thought you were in the middle of the desert helping privates."

"I arrived this morning," she said looking at him directly into the eyes. They were red and swollen, it was clear she had been crying but Alex didn't feel sorry for her. He was mad at her. Though they weren't exactly best friends Alex noticed Jackson was left devastated because he had been in a similar position when Izzie went away. Alex empathized with Jackson more than anybody else.

"So, how's everybody?" she asked.

He took the time to take a sip from his beer before answering.

"You don't care about everybody."

"I do," she insisted.

Alex rolled his eyes at her. He hated when she played naïve. After Bailey's initiative, everybody started to call her 'Kepner 2.0' because her display of leadership and bravery helped to save the man trapped inside the crashed car. Everybody called her that, except Alex. He refused to call her by that nickname because he knew there was no 2.0 version of Kepner. She was Kepner 1.0, the same Kepner as always. For Alex it was no news to knew Kepner could be a leader (and neurotic), after all he witnessed first-hand when she threatened Hunt to run over him at the trauma certification many years ago.

"April, I like you, okay? As friend you're a pain in the ass but what you did to Avery, how you left him, was not okay."

"I didn't just left," April defended her. "You don't know what are you talking about."

"April, you left him!" Alex insisted. It was feeling good to fight with someone after a shitty day and more when he knew he was right. "You left him, I can imagine the pain. My ex-wife left me, remember?."

April eyes opened in surprise. She wasn't expecting to hear that.

"Your ex-wife?" she asked calmly. "I just knew you were married and got divorced shortly after the merge."

Alex took another long sip from his bottle before continue. He regretted not having ordered a stronger beverage. He was not drunk enough to tell the whole story.

"Izzie had cancer, I loved her so we got married. Then she was fired from the hospital, and decided the best way to cope was leave me and then changed her mind and she came back. She wanted us to start over but I said no. So it was over."

April looked frightened by his confession and Alex knew what was going to be her next question.

"Why did you say no?"

Alex chuckled.

"Are you kidding' me? She treated me like crap, she left me, we were supposed to be a team and fight everything together, her cancer, dead friends and all that shitty stuff. She actually died in my arms and I didn't go away. The moment things got problematic for her, she run away."

"I'm so sorry, Alex," she apologized, although Alex didn't know exactly what she was apologizing for.

April was holding back the tears in her eyes.

"I've been siting here all day, wondering if I must go and look for him and let him know I'm back, but I'm afraid he has moved on," she confessed.

Alex sighed. It was not going to be easy being totally honest with April.

"I slept with Lexie before Izzie came back," he confessed to his own surprise. "Not my brightest moves but when Izzie left, I thought I would never be able to move on, being with Lexie was my way to move on."

Maybe he had been too honest, because April started to sob in silence. He was about to apologize to her but she went ahead and asked: "Has he moved on?"

"Honestly? I don't know," he said sincerely and April looked hurt.

He didn't tell her the minute she left, every straight woman and gay man at the hospital made a line in order to have a chance with Jackson. Alex actually encouraged Jackson to go back into the date scene the minute he knew April left his friend. However, he was not sure Jackson had moved on or not.

Alex finished his beer while April cleaned her tears with the back of her hand.

"Alex, did you hear again from Izzie?" April asked.

Alex doubted in answer that, he had never told Jo or anybody about that matter.

"Yes, last year when Derek…when Meredith went away," he explained. "I was desperate, looking for Mer so I checked every possibility so, I don't know, I thought maybe Mer was mental and contacted Izzie, so I made some phone calls and I talked to Izzie."

"How is she?"

"She's okay, I guess," he shrugged. "We didn't talk too much, she said she married again, has two step-kids. Unfortunately the cancer was back but was pretty optimistic about it. I haven't heard from her since then."

"Do you hate her?"

Then again, Alex could tell, April was afraid to hear the answer to her question.

Alex pondered his answer. Bringing back that kind of memories was difficult to him, he could only remember the pain he was feeling when she broke his heart, no the actual the facts or actions, just the feelings.

April waited for his answer with expectation.

"I don't hate her," he could say with honesty. "Being in love with her was the most excruciating pain I've ever went through but I don't hate her."

His phone ringed, making him know he got a text from Jo. She had finished her shift and was ready to go home.

"I must go. Jo's waiting," he excused and stood up. "I guess I'll see you at the hospital."

He was almost at the door when April called him. Alex spun around and saw how April was approaching him.

"I'm so sorry Izzie left," she said. "She was ungrateful and selfish, but ...she was in pain Alex, and she didn't want to bring you down with her. She thought running away in order to find her was the best so she could go back to you. She should have communicated better and allowed you to help her to cope, but she didn't know better. She was lost and afraid. However, I'm sure she's happy that you're happy and you're loved the way you deserve to be loved."

Alex knew that confession that was being directed towards Jackson and not him. Still, he appreciated the perspective April was giving to him. After years and years, sometimes he founded himself wondering why Izzie had left him when they needed each other the most.

He felt the need to give April a little hope.

"I don't know if he's going to take you back, April but I can assure you –if your story is anything like mine with Izzie-, he's still in love with you. I do not know what would have happened if Izzie had insisted more."

A little smile showed on her lips.

"Thank you, Alex," she said.

* * *

Let me know what do you think about this. For me was a way to give some kind of redemption to Izzie (and probably April) and I since I actually wrote it and wanted to share it.

Wishing the best for Japril and you guys in Season 12.


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